pessimism

although i have posted in my previous blog that my issues have been resolved regarding my wednesday blunder.

i cannot hide the fact that i am really going through a "phase" right now. this is different, well a lil realted to that wednesday thing, though this has been present before last wednesday.

(although most people say, ang galing ko magtago. maybe now that i'm 18 and a day old. i should keep it real. well. not 100% but at least a lil. its really hard to wear a mask, right?!)

what i really wish for my birthday is: happiness that cannot be equated to any material thing.
(exact example: MONEY, or a diamond ring.)

funny. most people write blogs so that in a way, indirectly say what they want to say, or share what feelings they have inside. and although how i wish that he could read this. i just know that it is impossible.

but if i were to be asked to ressolve this now.
i know i am not ready.

or maybe i'm just scared.