my answer to the question

"kamusta love life mo?"

This is one of the mornings after another sleepless night that I cannot help but ask myself, why didn't I have a good night sleep again?

Then the memory of someone from the past would, again, bounce in my head... disturb my sanity and make my day half-miserable.

I know another day of what if’s and maybe’s.

I've told myself that when it's over, it's really over!

There's no sense turning back or even trying to pick up the pieces again.

It's time to move on and face the reality!

When it's over, is it really over?

When you decide to let go, do you really succeed in letting go?

I heard Sugar Ray’s song a while ago.

Here are the few lines that caught my attention:

"When it's over, that's the time I fall in love again...

When it's over, that's the time you're in my heart again...”

How can you possibly say it's over when you're still in love with the person?

I guess it's not that easy when the chain of the past locks you in the chest of

false hopes and leads you to a place called fantasy,

with Cinderella and Snow white as your best friends!

The three of you would gather on the hilltop and after a while three young drop-dead gorgeous princes would come, riding on their horses to join the picnic under a three.

How pathetic!

But, admit it or not, it's true...

The hardest part of losing a loved one is to accept the fact that they're gone and might never come back again.

There are things that will always remind you of your togetherness, the places you've been, expressions you used to hear from him or her and songs you've both loved to sing.

These are the memories that'd linger on your mind from time to time, because you were both in love before (or so you think).

It makes you hope for another chance.

You begin to believe on what others said that:

Love is lovelier the second time around.

And the line from Ally Mc Beal,

"whoever said that 'plenty of fish in the sea' thing is lying.”

Sometimes, there's only one...trust me.

We would desperately believe that what happens in the

movies might also happen to us one day.

Who didn't like the lines from Runaway Bride where Julia Roberts told Richard Gere…"I guarantee that we'll have tough time; guarantee that in some point, one of us would want to get out; I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret this for the rest of my life, 'coz I know in my heart...you're the only one for me…"

We tend to think that the person who left us will come back one day and say those words or just simple words that would promise forever.

Problems may occur every now and then, but we would consider those things as trials to be conquered in order for the relationship to bloom and mature.

Oouucchh! Reality just bit me!

More often than not, these romantic movies and mushy love songs only make us long for something we cannot have...

and for someone who cannot be ours again.

It hurts to admit that we are just pretending.

All the while, we already knew the truth but we ignore it.

When the damage is done, there's nothing left to do but cry...

To mourn for the bitterness in our hearts.

Then curse anybody who gets in the way.

As we still hold on to the past the chance of meeting someone new may be a bit far off the field. The fear of trusting and falling in love again may also hinder us to grow and move on.

We are hesitant to take the risk, Afraid that we may get hurt again.

Because of the negative thoughts stocked in our brains, we refuse to go out from our self-made world and deprive ourselves from new opportunities, whether in love affairs or career wise.

Realities check again: It can happen to anyone but we shouldn't just take things as it comes.

An action must be done.

It's just a matter of survival. Stand up when you fall.

It's okay to cry as hard and as long as you want to, just make sure that when you stop crying, you won't cry for the same reason anymore.

Learn and live. LOVE.

Love is the most wonderful thing one can offer, so be smart enough to give the love in your heart to the one who really deserves it.

bad dream

i woke up today from a bad dream.

the dream was very weird. i just remember i was crying for i wanted to leave but i wasn't able to, though i didn't know where i was going. *special appearance pa si feona sa dream*

going to school my real bad dream came to life.

i hate regrets. i hate myself.

i regret that i didn't drop my crithin class. i regret that i didn't follow my instinct. i regret having to follow others. *tsk tsk. bad move. can definitely change my life forever.*

its fascinating how one person can ruin your life. ruin your dreams. ruin you.

its sad that an education major like me, who studies, how to teach effectively, how to make tests that would really measure student learning, had tolerated a professor, who only read the book and call that lecture, who gives pointless exam directions, and who treats his students as if they were morons.

yes, i chose to give up. i chose to just let it go. because i don't want to beg from a person so unfair. i don't want to make myself lower than what he had already done.

i know my friends doesn't understand me. but this is my life. this is my choice.

but i thank you for your concern.

WCS

i learned that no matter how prepared you are for a battle, fighting a million of them and only one of you (well, in this case, four: jacq, bing, chris and me.)

you can only expect the worst case scenario.

i entered this general elections, along with 8 other teacher-leaders,
holding on a vison and the decision to serve our college, our batch mates, to give them what they deserve, yes i still firmly stand on this position,

OUR LEADERSHIP.

yes. i am disappointed.

but life goes on... now, we go back to our "normal" student life, where it would be bothersome to be wearing the same shirt the same day and fun to see that two to three of you are of the same color/shade of shirt, where we talk about subjects, professors and requirements, where we just have to mind our own business.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.
I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
~Kurt Vonnegut

to CED-TAPAT, TAPAT candidates and core, blockmates-EMCs, new friends from 104, 105 and 106: mark, feona, trish, jielene, anil, grace, sari, mig, gelly, trish, kathy, tin, karina, annie, ton, aldrich, cza, eloisa, soci, angeli, abby, flora, alec, chris, bing and jacq. *sorry if i forgot anyone*

for the late nights, platform making, speech making, issue discussions, even the pressure, ym conference, laughter, good times, unexpected bonding and crying moments. best flag sweep and meeting de avance. free food and free kwento. hehe. For believing in me until the very end, you guys are the reason why i don't regret trying one more time.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

congratulations to all the winners!

anu ba new year na?!

cheers to the year that was. 2006. Whew! It was quite a year.

As I said before, this year could probably be the “climax” of the story of my life, the year…

I turned 18. *legal na po!*

I started drinking MORE often.

I indulged to smoking AGAIN.

I did things I never thought I would do *going into politics*

I went to MORE places *unexpected roadtrips, sagada, etc.*

I cried a lot *as in!*

I pleaded for a grade *edutec2*

I planned for my future *nax!*

And a lot more...

This year was really a roller coaster of emotions, and if I would go through it again I probably would, except, most probably for the part where I chose to protect myself from heartache thus hurting the people I treasure the most. But, as what they always say, life goes on, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Life is short. Forgive like you got amnesia, believe like a child, love like crazy, and laugh till you fart, take courage to realize your heart’s desires and don’t regret anything that made you happy!

THANK YOU! To everyone who had made 2006, one of a kind, exciting and fun-filled for me! Wishing everyone a year of strength and peace of mind! ; )